Permanent Chalk

Jealousy: It is my senior year, and I find myself wishing I was someone else. My entire high school career has been a constant struggle. I have seen my dream destroyed so fast I seem to not dream anymore, there is no point. Being at this school for four years I have notest that it dwells on elitism and frowns upon normality. As I walk down the halls I see kids that have never struggled or felt the pain of not succeeding at something. There is someone who I envy the most, and that is my friend Ben. I see his life as the closest thing to perfect, he is an athlete and a super genius, a kid with tons of friends and out going. But lately I have noticed that our friendship has begun to strain because of his girlfriend. He seems to spend less and less time with me and more and more time with his girlfriend Caitlin. When they started dating it made me hate him even more because it was one more thing that was going right in his life. The times when we do hang out he is either texting her the whole time or ditches me to half way through the night to hang with her. I want him to work with me this summer because I’m losing my best friend for 6s months because of basic training and I need someone to feel the void. I find myself hoping that once he gets to college that he burns out or fails. I just want him to know how it feels to be me if I could change places with him for a day I would. I would love to see how it feels to be successful and like wise I want him to know the struggles I go through daily. I catch myself being mad at him because his life is so perfect. I am jealous and in rage of is life, no ones life should be that perfect, how could life be so unfair? I want nothing more than to be his best friend but I see this slowly slipping away.